How a Blowjob Saved the World

[ This is a guest post from good friend, Michael Keller, filmmaker, heads-up poker warrior, and (apparently) blowjob aficionado (who isn't?). Taken from a private email correspondence.].

Eight years ago I might have voted for McCain over Gore (remember this was before "An Inconvenient Truth") In 2004 I would have voted for McCain over Kerry. But after McCain's blunders in this election (Palin, bailout, etc.) I started to think I was wrong about him in 2000 and 2004. I feel good again about McCain after his concession speech reminded me of the conservative-democrat / liberal republican that he really is. I'm thrilled about Obama, but if McCain had lost to say, Edwards, I would have been upset with McCain's campaign strategists who aligned him too closely with Bush/Cheney ideals. You're right -- what a nightmare to be in the same party as Bush, having to go up against one of the worst administrations in U.S. history. Gore lost and he was only up against a blowjob. How terrible.

But wait... maybe not so terrible?

What if, like most blowjobs, that famous one was a very, very, very good thing?

What if, because of that blowjob and only because of that blowjob, the following events were set into motion:
Bush/Cheney begin crusade to destroy U.S. and the world.

Gore makes perhaps the most influential film of all time, potentially impacting humankind more than anything created by a human. (CERN awaits in 2009.) He probably doesn't do this if elected President because he's dealing with 911 (which still happens IMO.)

Bush/Cheney war contributes to high oil prices; Americans reduce fuel consumption and many go hybrid. Thanks to the synergy of Gore & high fuel costs --- green, or greener, becomes a way of life for many.

Bush/Cheney succeed in crusade to destroy U.S. economy and ostrasize the U.S. from the rest of the world. U.S. voters not happy.

The first African-American President is elected in an industrialized country.

***

Is it possible that a blowjob saved democracy and possibly the world?

Yes, it is possible. And I believe that it's our duty to get the word out, to let everyone know what is now so obvious: The True Champion of Democracy is the blowjob.

Can we do this? Can we get the word out? Yes we can!
Can we selflessly promote this champion of democracy? Yes we can!
Can we do it often, with determination and vigor? Yes we can!
Can we -- again and again and again and again? Yes we can! Yes we can! Yes we can! Oh... MY... GOD... yes we can.

*cue score*
"What a Wonderful World" by Louie Armstrong
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtPF9M3nIHs&feature=related)

Almost fifty years ago visionary leader John F. Kennedy understood and passionately promoted this true champion or democracy -- to the public millions watching his speech on Capital Hill, and to the private Marilyns in the White House closet, "Ask not what your country can do for you -- ask what you can do for your country."


MJK